What can help? (part 1)
Self-compassion
You might hear me talking about self-compassion more often in the future, and this just underlines the value I find in self-compassion. Self-compassion means being kind and understanding to yourself when you face challenges or loss, make mistakes etc.
I am not perfect at self-compassion and at least for me, this is not the goal either. Rather, acknowledging your on imperfections and seeing them as part of being human instead of criticising yourself to me is part of self-compassion. Practicing self-compassion is the goal, not striving for perfection.
It is also not necessarily a one-size-fits-all in the sense that it might not suit everyone in every situation. It is, however, quite powerful in giving yourself space and grace, realising that you are not alone in this, and lending yourself a helping hand – namely your own.
There are also times when I do not find the time (or take the time probably) to practice self-compassion in the form of exercises or guided meditations. Instead, I remind myself of the three components of self-compassion (according to Neff, 2003; 2023), apply them to the situation, and reflect. The three components of self-compassion are:
- self-kindness (as opposed to self-judgement) – showing up for yourself with warmth, understanding, and support
- common humanity (as opposed to isolation) – challenges, struggle, and mistakes are part of being human
- mindfulness (as opposed to overidentification) – being aware of your feelings and thoughts without exaggerating or avoiding them
There is more than one way to learn and practice self-compassion.
Curious to find out what might work for you?
Then please reach out!
References
Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032
Neff, K. D. (2023). Self-Compassion: Theory, Method, Research, and Intervention. Annual Review of Psychology, 74(1), 193–218. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-032420-031047